Turning Fear into Motivation

This past Thursday was my tri-monthly Hopkins appointment. I never know how to feel leading up to these. Part of me looks forward to it, hoping my lung function will have gone up and I can know that what I’m doing is working.

The other part of me – the bigger part – is always scared. Scared that my lung function will have slipped. That I’ll culture some weird bacteria, requiring additional meds or, even worse, a round of IVs.

I give myself a pep talk in the car on the way there, listing all the things I can do to improve if the numbers aren’t what I want. And Mike comes to every appointment, always my biggest cheerleader, assuring me that it will be okay, whatever the news. (I’m lucky to have a guy like him, huh?)

At my checkup in November I had the highest lung function in about four years – 75%.

Unfortunately it didn’t stay there, measuring 72% this time. My doctor wasn’t concerned, explaining that a fluctuation that small isn’t significant. I could come in the next day and my lung function could read 75% again.

But still. I let the fear creep in.

This time last year my lung function had slowly fallen to 60%, requiring that I do a round of IVs. The last thing I want to start seeing is another slow decline.

After a few tears and a chat with my doctor, I felt better. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I decided to feel motivated. Part of the reason I left my job was so I could spend some time focusing on my health. 2012 was a stressful year, and I want to make sure I’m as healthy as I can be for any opportunities that lie ahead.

While I’m doing my meds better than I ever have, I need to work on getting exercise in – an important part of my CF care. So this week I started back at the gym – just walking on the treadmill for now, three times a week, with some weights thrown in. And a weekly class at Charm City Yoga to focus on my breathing. I’m also going to start doing one of my treatments twice a day instead of just once.

I’m confident that my hard work will pay off at my next appointment. But if you could send some healthy vibes my way, it wouldn’t hurt 😉

Any tips/tricks to keep yourself motivated to workout? (Or any song recommendations to pump myself up at the gym?) Comment below!

 

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8 thoughts on “Turning Fear into Motivation

  1. Healthy vibes as requested! I had a wee guy with CF in my class last year; I’d never have known if I’d not been told. He was always playing football & shinty and swimming and loving it… Good luck with your own exercise program!

  2. Sign up for a walk or run! Having an end goal to train for always keeps me going even on my least motivated days. Beyonce is one of my favorites to listen to at the gym…her more upbeat songs always make me go a little faster. End of Time and Run the World are two good ones : ) Hope this helps!

  3. You are a strong and beautiful woman! Everything will be great and I’m confident that you can get your lung function back up! I would love to come with you to a yoga class every once in awhile or even to the gym! Just let me know if there is a day and time that works for you and we can help each other work out! 🙂 xoxo

  4. I feel the same way when we see any fluctuation in L’s numbers – I sit and analyze and worry. That being said, I always remind myself to do everything in our power at home to keep her healthy and her liver happy. Eat well. Get her some exercise. Take vitamins. You can do it!

  5. Gym tip…I have this awesome iphone app called Tempo magic. You import your fav songs, and then you can adjust the speed of each song to match your walk cadence. It makes the treadmill 1000 times better, something about getting into the rhythm makes it way more pleasurable!!

  6. I’m glad the small slip in lung-function has you motivated. I want to point out though that, for those us who live in northern climates, lung-function tends to drop a bit during the winter. Ashley’s always drops a bit in the winter, too. So don’t scare yourself too much.

    I don’t have workout suggestions for you because, uhm, I don’t work out. But I will happily cheer you on and give a quick boost on Twitter if you need a little motivation. Keep it up and hang in there.

  7. The thought process you go through before a doctor’s appointment sounds very similar to mine when I go to see my various specialists (including my cancer dr.) Sometimes just calling to schedule the appointment can be frightening. Even if it’s a few weeks out. The gears start turning and I start contemplating the “what ifs” and “have I done enough?”. You’d think by now I’d be used to it and have a better way of coping, but I really don’t.

    I used to really beat myself up when I had a bad day, felt down, or completely overwhelmed. Now, I let myself feels those things and then try my best to move on. Introducing more exercise will be great for you. The good hormones and chemical reactions will start flowing , helping you physically AND mentally. Sometimes you really underestimate the benefits of taking a 20-30 minute walk when you are frazzled or stressed – or even if you are feeling good, how it helps you stay there.

    When I’m feeling particularly unmotivated, I’ll reach out to a friend and clue them in. Sometimes the best pep talks come from those who love you. 🙂 I’m always around if you need a chat or any encouragment. 🙂

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